Maine SBDC eLearning Center

12 Ways to Deal with Negativity in Relationships

by Sam Alex

A little known fact about relationships is that they take work.  A relationship takes two people and both must be willing to put in effort for it to be successful.  Negativity has a tendency to follow some relationships. Is your relationship suffering from continuous negativity? If so, you are not alone.  Below are a few helpful ways to deal with negativity in your relationship before it is ruined.

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  • Communication. Lack of communication is the number one reason why many relationships do not survive. How are your communication skills? If you are trying to overcome negativity in a relationship, start by improving communication skills.
  • Be willing to compromise. Each person in the relationship must be willing to give a little.  Learning to compromise can quickly reduce the negativity in relationships. If you aren’t willing to give a little, you can be certain that the relationship will be tough. Are you willing to compromise with your significant other for the sake of reducing negativity in your relationship?
  • Avoid smoldering anger.  Keeping anger lock inside will only make matters worse.  To deal with negativity in relationships, you must get everything out in the open.  Choose to work out problems instead of keeping them bottled inside.  Holding grudges will only add to the negativity.
  • Set boundaries. Boundaries in relationships will let both parties know what is okay and what is not.  Agree on boundaries and make them clear and concise up front.  For example, will the relationship be monogamous? If so, state this upfront so that there is no confusion as to whether or not you can date other people.
  • Surround yourself with people who will have a positive impact.  It may be time to break ties with people or other couples that have a negative impact on your relationship.  Surrounding yourself with people who care about and support your relationship is always helpful.
  • Find enjoyment in the same things. To avoid negativity, spend quality time with each other.  Do things that you both enjoy instead of going your separate ways each day.  Spending time together will help nourish the relationship.
  • Learn how to trust. Trust, like communication, is essential to a healthy relationship.  It is hard for any relationship to survive without trust. If the trust has been broken, it often takes time to heal before the negativity subsides.  If you are in this situation, you must learn how to trust again. Without trust, your relationship will not survive.
  • Don’t read more into things than you should.  This can quickly lead to a stressful relationship.  Take things that happen in the relationship for what they are instead of reading more into things than you should.  This can be the first sign that trust is broken in a relationship and must be restored.
  • Jealousy should never be tolerated. Jealousy often single handedly ruins relationships.  Being overly jealous can bring unsurpassable amounts of negativity.  Don’t allow jealousy to ruin your relationship. Overcome jealously for the sake of a healthy relationship, free from negativity.
  • Laugh a lot! Laughter is powerful. It can help erase negativity that plagues relationships.  Find ways to laugh together.  Whether it’s watching a funny movie or thinking about old memories, laughter can cure negative relationships. Make laughing and having fun together one of the most important factors in your relationships.
  • Have a clear conscious. If you don’t want negativity to follow your relationship, have a clear conscious.  This means that you steer clear of things that can hurt your significant other.  If both of you agree to maintain a clear conscious, you can expect the negativity in the relationship to significantly reduce.
  • Don’t jump into the wrong relationships. Some relationships will never work regardless of how much you try to avoid negativity.  It is important to find people who you have a true connection with rather than trying to make things work with someone who you have nothing in common with.

Negativity in your relationships can quickly put an end to what is a good thing. Don’t sit back and let negativity ruin your life.  Find ways to deal with it upfront by using the tips listed above.